Since Kamil’s shoulder was covering me, I had no idea what was going on.
I heard the door slam shut violently with a loud bang – then, from the other side of the door, I could hear some sort of raucous roaring laughter coming from a monster baboon.
Kamil jumped to the next room over with me. He hastily tossed me on top of the bed, and I landed face first on the downy blanket. I immediately raised myself up on my arms, and saw Kamil piling up some furniture in front of the door. The dressing table, chair, a clothes box, a chest – without saying anything, he was quickly stacking them up.
I also seem to have bit Kamil’s finger just earlier when whatever it was happened. I wonder if he had let me do it on purpose so that I didn’t bite my tongue.
Kamil was bleeding from his sides as he moved the furniture around. However, just as I was about to get up and move, when I took another look at Kamil, my body couldn’t help but stiffen.
Just then, there was a tapping sound on the door. It started off soft at first, but kept getting louder and louder.
I could hear an unpleasant rattling sound together with that eerie laughter from the other side of the door. Something was hitting the door now. It’s continuing to get even louder.
Is it playing around, this monster baboon that’s causing these sounds. It disgustingly feels like as if it’s having fun toying with its prey that it’s chased and cornered.
Soon, Kamil seemed to run out of energy and sat down with his back against the pile of furniture.
I got up, and stared at Kamil again. He seemed to be shaking all over his body, and it seemed like his strength was leaving him.
A pathetic, trembling voice came out of me. What am I trying to say to him at this point in time, me.
That monster baboon must have been mimicking the sound of someone crying out for help, no matter how I think about it this situation is my fault that we’ve fallen for its trap.
Blood kept flowing out of Kamil’s sides endlessly, seeping into the stone floor. He seems to have injured his internal organs, as dark blood was dripping out of the corner of Kamil’s mouth.
I didn’t move even one finger. My brain was numb, and I couldn’t do anything other than stare at Kamil.
Even though we were alone together, even in rooms filled with corpses, Kamil didn’t kill me. It’s my distrust towards him that’s led to this current situation.
With those sorts of injuries, all he can do is wait for death. There’s such a large hole in his side, and his internal organs are injured as well with no way to give him medical treatment.
The back of my throat was aching with something hot. My sight turned blurry, as lukewarm water started splashing down my cheeks from my eyes.
Kamil merely smiled gently at me. It felt like my heart was being squeezed to pieces.
“……It’s fine. It can’t be helped, this is my job.”
Kamil opened his mouth and spoke to me in a weak voice. He kept coughing up horrific amounts of blood, and his body was trembling violently now. He’s shaking so badly, I’m pretty sure he’s realized his own situation as well.
“You couldn’t, trust in me, right? As for the things I hid from you, to the best of my abilities, it was something that couldn’t be helped.”
As Kamil continued speaking in a piecemeal manner, the hitting sounds against the door were continuing to grow in volume. I don’t think I’ve ever been so annoyed in my life before. I want to listen to Kamil talking without having to listen over those sounds.
“You probably knew that I’m the son of, the merchant, that, killed, your family.”
I couldn’t even nod, all I could do was listen to his words, forgetting to even breathe.
“I’m sorry…… that my father, killed, your entire family. That’s why, to make up for it, I wanted to at the very least, protect you. I mean, you’re really just a small child.”
In the middle, Kamil’s voice suddenly got even choppier, and he had gotten so passionate that it was moving me to tears.
Do I want to cry and scream at the top of my lungs, or should I be begging Kamil for forgiveness right now, my feelings and regrets were swirling about inside me like a vortex right now.
However, that as well, ended quickly and it felt like I was deflating like a balloon. The feelings that were bloating me just earlier were nowhere to be found.
Everything is something that I’ve caused myself. Since everything is my fault, I think it’ll be for the best if I just honestly tell Kamil that I was the root of everything.
“-No, that’s not it, Kamil……”
Before I realized it, I was slowly shaking my head. Since I wasn’t able to accept before that Kamil had no ill will towards me and wasn’t plotting against me – of course he’d never forgive me. I know that I’m only telling him to selfishly lessen the burden on myself.
My bad habit of clenching my fists as tightly as I could showed itself again, and my nails were digging deep ridges into my palms.
Kamil’s voice was confused, and he seemed to stop himself from trembling as much as he could, to make eye contact with me.
“I myself was the one who killed my family. Kamil, your father was falsely accused of it and executed for a crime he didn’t commit. ……I’m really sorry about what happened.”
Kamil was looking at me wide-eyed in amazement, looking at me so directly that I really felt like averting my eyes. My body was completely tense. I couldn’t breathe.
What will he say.
Well now that I’ve said it, I’m regretting it.
Why did I tell Kamil something about my treacherous self when he’s on the verge of death, I wonder. I must only be searching for my own self-satisfaction, pouring out my guilt to him.
I felt like gouging at myself as I wallowed in self-loathing.
Kamil quietly closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.
“-……Oh, so that’s what happened.”
Really, his voice remained so calm.
– Then, Kamil didn’t open his eyes. While trembling, I took a step. I got down from the bed, and crawled to Kamil’s side.
I hesitantly touched his blood-caked face with my hand, finding that his blood was already drying. His face was frightfully cold, and I shuddered involuntarily.
“……I can’t, move anymore…… ……It can’t be, helped…… Charlie’s……”
As if he found things really annoying, Kamil sighed deeply.
He sluggishly lifted his hand, and hugged my head against his right shoulder. Although I was thrown a bit off balance by his body weight, and had to use a hand to support myself, I obediently let him hug me.
Close by to me, it felt like the monster baboon was about to break down the door at any moment, the crashing sounds against the door had gotten so loud.
However, for some reason I didn’t feel scared at all.
More than that, I was more scared of how fast I could feel Kamil’s body warmth leaving him even touching him through his clothes.
I slid my head down from his shoulder slightly, to his left breast.
When I heard that his heart was still beating feebly, I felt so relieved that I started crying.
He’s still alive.
Without even worrying about the crashing sounds against the door, I just listened to his heartbeat get weaker and weaker.
– Then, I couldn’t hear it anymore, and his hand against my head fell limp to the ground.
Outside the door, I heard a terrible screaming sound coming from the monster baboon. The sound of people shouting echoed throughout the hallways. I think I heard Ergnade’s voice among them.