Chapter 92 – Lyss’ Thoughts
When the meeting to decide Lute’s family name was over, I – the second princess of the High Elf Kingdom of Enol, Lyss Enol Meméa, went back to my room.
Shia, my guard maid, served as the waitress of the room and was currently pouring me a cup of scented tea with a cool expression.
Overcome by my emotions, I unintentionally criticized her speech and behavior from a while ago.
“Shia, what were you thinking back then? Lute-san has two wives already, so why did you do something like making me get closer to him?”
“Is there a problem? I was certain that your highness was yearning for the young master, so I intend to give your highness a push, but-”
“Y-yyyyearning for? To yearn for a gentleman who is already married is……!”
“Your Highness, please calm down. High Elves are known to bind to only one person in their whole lifetime, and according to history, there were cases where one married a second or even a third wife. Also, I think that in those cases, their feelings weren’t forced, you know?”
“Ce-certainly, there were cases like those, but…… W-what about Shia? You also want to be tied to Lute-san, right?”
“Well, I am young master’s slave.”
Shia said with a proud expression, as if wanting to say that she did have a visible bond with Lute.
The slave money used to buy her had already been paid back by Enol. The money Lute-san borrowed from Meiya-san was already repaid, too. However, Shia declined Lute-san’s proposal of being released as his slave.
“I still want to continue being young master’s slave”, she said.
I thought Shia was a little sly.
“My feelings for the young master are closer to that of a fellow soldier, rather than a lover or a married couple. Therefore, please don’t worry about me, and convey your own feelings to the young master. I’m sure madam Snow and madam Chrisse will understand.”
―― I had a dream, albeit a small one.
The days spent with Lute-san, Snow-san, and Chrisse-san.
It was very sweet dream, full of warmth and happiness. But……
“……Shia, I understand what you think. However, I am the next-in-line as the queen of Enol, and I plan to fulfill my duty, so I can’t do something like having feelings towards Lute-san. That’s why, please don’t worry about me anymore.”
“There’s nothing else left to do today, so Shia, please take a rest.”
With lowered brows, she curtsied and left the room.
The steam from the cup of the scented tea swayed heartrendingly.
I stood up from my seat, and fell onto the bed.
“Something like having feelings for Lute-san……”
I murmured that, but I couldn’t deceive myself.
I really yearned for Lute-san.
But when had I fallen for him?
I closed my eyes and thought back.
In the inn outside the lake, where we met for the first time.
“I was accompanied by Shia, and was waiting in a room. I remembered my heart throbbing so hard and it just wouldn’t stop……”
‘He’s a nice person’, that was my first impression of him.
Even though they seem to come from someplace far away, he still extended his hand to us without any hesitation at all.
I believed Shia’s words, of a hero who would come to help the High Elf Kingdom.
That moment when he held my hands, I felt something go through my body.
That Lute-san came to us, might be destiny for me. Or so I thought.
……but, the person already had two wives.
Though I revered him as the hero who saved this country, there were no feelings of affection for the opposite sex mixed in.
I opposed my father and went to the giant scorpion extermination with Lute-san.
En route, Lute-san got worried about me, who had gotten sick from the carriage.
He put his hand on my head, which seemed to be hot, and called out how much time was left until we arrived.
Whenever his hand touched my body, I always felt a nice feeling.
However, I kept on pretending not to notice.
In the middle of the trip, I got to know the world outside the castle, and was also forced to realize how ignorant and useless I was.
When I tried to use the live tree for firewood, Lute-san was shocked.
Looking at his expression, I was so embarrassed that I wanted to disappear at that time.
Whenever I wanted to show off something to him, I always made a mistake. I was so ashamed. Still, Lute-san stayed kind to me the entire time.
I am worthless outside the castle……and whenever I’m inside, I was always compared to older sister, and was looked down due to the obvious differences in our abilities.
Then, I realized that, whether inside or outside, I was worthless.
However, Lute-san didn’t abandon such a worthless me, and even regarded me as a precious comrade.
Even though it was my turn to keep watch, I slept and just wouldn’t wake up.
He said, “Because you’re my friend, it’s only natural to save each other in times of need”.
I, who was unwanted by everyone, was recognized as a comrade by my hero.
I had made Lute, whom I liked very much, accept me as a comrade.
To the nonchalant him, this might have all been natural.
But for me, oh how happy was I on hearing those words?
Furthermore, in the latest fight, where Lute received the venomous sting of a giant scorpion due to my carelessness, I desperately cured him from the poison.
After that, I apologized to him frantically, but Lute and the others gave me thanks instead of blaming me for what I’ve done.
I could still remember the words from that time clearly.
“I don’t know what kind of person Lyss’ older sister is. But for me, I think it’s really great that Lyss is my comrade. Thanks to Lyss, we were not worried about the baggage anymore, I was saved from the brink of death when I received the sting due to your detoxification, and we were able to defeat the giant scorpion safely with the Panzerfaust.”
That’s what he said.
He looked straight at my eyes and told his true feelings.
“Therefore, I’ll say this no matter how many times you want. I am so glad to have Lyss as my comrade”
His smile, which would make one think that those words were from the bottom of his heart, got through to me.
That time, I felt that I had become a friend in the truest sense.
I felt that it was possible for a person like me to stay next to him.
Then Lute-san rescued my kidnapped younger sister, Luna.
Then, just like a real hero who had come out of the picture books, he dashed to save me, who was in a pinch and surrounded by large crowds of enemies.
Back then, when I saw Lute-san’s face — my chest tightened so hard and so painfully, and tears of joy overflowed like it was natural.
I don’t know when I started to yearn for Lute-san as a member of the opposite sex.
However, I could not lie to my feelings.
Right now, I am sure……I love Lute-san.
My true feeling that had always been hidden, for I was bound by this country.
I wanted to continue being by his side, even if I couldn’t be number one.
I wanted to forever support his dream, helping people in need.
I wanted to save people, weak like me and asking for help, together with Lute-san.
I wanted to follow Lute-san, whenever, wherever.
――But I could not abandon this country.
It was natural for the royalty to throw away our selfishness. Hadn’t I resolved myself to be engaged to another party back then?
I thought I could, but I wasn’t able to stop the sadness oozing from my chest being torn apart, and the tears wouldn’t stop flowing.
It stained the newly washed pure white sheets, causing wrinkles with every drop.
(Today, just for today, let’s cry it all out. So that tomorrow, everything will be back to normal……)
I made such an excuse to myself, letting the tears flow from my eyes.
I pressed my face against the pillow further, until the sobbing stopped.
Without caring about how much my tears would stain them anymore――
Yesterday I reconfirmed how popular Meiya was in the impression corner. Well, I also quite like her, even amongst the other characters, you know. It’s easy to write, too. It’s like wanting to tease the girl you like, you know.
I’m happy that the legion’s name [PEACEMAKER] was well received. It would be good if the family name and the coat of arms design are accepted too.
Also, I want to introduce more guns and stuffs but it’s hard, since I also have to consider the flow of the story, so I ask that you wait patiently.
Well then, please continue to support Gun-Ota in the future too.