Eliza chapter 70 – Two viewpoints

Beginning of Act 2, Part 1

(This chapter returns to Eliza’s point of view.)

I believe that games, books, manga, anime, TV shows, movies, all these things created solely for entertainment purposes are basically so that we can obtain some sort of catharsis. As an example, in my previous life, due to my younger sister’s recommendation, I tried a certain otome game.

Helping other people from the heroine’s perspective, improving your character by raising your level and stats, and enjoying the drama between the characters.

You can romance handsome, high-spec boys, or even, during that process defeat your love rivals.

With it, you obtain a sense of superiority and satisfaction.

In a medieval European fantasy setting, made of fluffy images, the heroine is able to meet male capture targets filled with various female ideals, although this was all very lacking in realism. Once again, this must purely be for entertainment purposes, as the characters’ archetypes were rather exaggerated and very shallow.

The otome game was quite detailed, and it felt deeper than most stories. Just like the original meaning of the word catharsis, it might have been intended to purify the emotions of pity and fear through art.

However, all I know is that it wasn’t the case for me.

The heroine was someone that had come from the neighboring country, to go to noble school and look for a husband candidate from among the students, and she would romance them, that was the story.

It didn’t depict anything about the brutality and filthiness of human beings, there was nothing in it obstructing people from obtaining catharsis.

 

I looked around at the earth which was stained with blood. Dead bodies which were unrecognizable, were piled up like garbage.

Military forces between countries had fought here. Humans had caused so much death and destruction.

Why had they fought, why were so many lives sacrificed, the dead would obtain nothing.

There was nothing such as celebration wine to be seen around here.

This was another side to the game world where the heroine was the neighboring country’s archduke’s daughter and had come to noble school to have fun and find romance. This type of scene had never appeared in the game, yet there were indeed pools of blood everywhere.

There’s no such reason like people attempting to obtain catharsis here, there was only people killing each other, and dying. Or, there’s no story-like qualities here, only people fighting with all their strength.

People aren’t very principled, it’s a world where people attack others based on their feelings and desires.

Even though I know that, still, this world is nothing like the game settings at all, only the stage is the same while a war began, I got the ridiculous idea wondering if this was reality at all.

I was simply scared.

Is this world real or fake? Am I just dreaming?

Indeed, my feelings of memories of a past life were fading.

Why did I kill people for, I wonder. Why do people die, I wonder.

Are people’s deaths meaningless, I wonder.

I wonder if I would have been happier had I not recalled my past life’s memories. If I didn’t know the game’s story from my past life’s memories, would this war have not started, I wonder.

Even if I think about it, I have no answers. That’s all I understand.

I just keep telling myself that it’s probably for the best that I don’t understand anything.

Is this world just a game world from my previous life, I wonder.

Or, is this reality with breathing, living people, I wonder.

I can’t decide if this is reality or not, even though technically this isn’t supposed to be something that I can just leave undecided.

That’s why, maybe I have no choice but to accept, that I can’t make a choice between the two.

32 responses to “Eliza chapter 70 – Two viewpoints

  1. Deep.

    Seems like Eliza is having an existential crisis now, and in no way do I blame her.

    I mean, she did see her close-ish friend/subordinate/ally bleed out in front of her, several of the soldiers she trained with get cut down as she fled, and witnessed a complete blood bath of a skirmish.

    Liked by 11 people

  2. All things considered, I’m not complain about the skipped(?) chapters, I’m actually really glad we’re back to Eliza’s point of view. To think we’d have to wait another 9 chapters just to finally start getting some resolution for the cliffhanger of her being pretty much comatose…

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  3. Thanks for the chapter~
    Ah, our girl is back with an existential crisis… I hope she pulls herself together soon, but the relief of this chapter after so many Ratokas… I am grateful ; v ; )

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  4. Aww Eliza ;-;

    It pains me to see her suffering like this…

    I don’t think the world would’ve been better if she hadn’t retained her memories… So I’d like to believe. Let’s make a comparison list.

    + Had Eliza not killed her family, her family would’ve continued to be the horrible scum they were, and Eliza would’ve died as well.

    ~ Kamil… Could’ve done either way I think. Becoming an assassin or something. Either way, his crazy mother would’ve still tried to get him into their cult.

    + We can see that Terejia is pretty knowledgable and skilled in politics. He is still improving the quality of life for the Kaldia domain, and wouldn’t have gotten a chance if not for Eliza.

    + It’s likely Ratoka would’ve ended up in a cult or as a vagabond, with his messed up BG. Eliza is giving him some life experiences and a chance as a honest human being, although she may use him as a body double on the future.

    ? The Shiru tribe might not have made it if she hadn’t offered to house them in her territory… Although my memory is vague, but there was a lot of opposition. No one wanted to take them in either…

    + She took care of the bandit problem in her territory and gave them good work as soldiers. She also rekindled their faith in the nobility since they go as far as to nickname her Charlie. Definitely a plus.

    It’s not all happy rainbows and flowers and butterflies, but Eliza doing the things she had did have an effect on her surroundings. Eliza-chan is too pessimistic for her own good.😦

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Finally a change of pace from the Ratoka usual I feel so much woe and ever cycle of everything go back to fanatic sister in the end. Eliza super pessimist and philosophy is far more fun to read for me. I’m not being sarcastic btw.

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  6. Eliza…. ((((hugs)))) I know you’ll be okay!!!! ;_;

    I’m still liking the Ratoka POV’s, but I’ll like it too when they’re done! 😄

    Thanks so much for all your hard work imperfectluck!!!!

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  7. Given that she doesn’t sound like she’s going to recover from this soon… I think I’ll stick with Ratoka’s ignorant puppy love. >_>

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  8. This is what I search for in reincarantion story. No, the reincarnated soul, I think, should not continue on, leaving their former world behind just that easy. Especially if they suddenly become some noble of a medieval times. Medieval times, after all ren’t that happy-go-lucky and ‘proper’. Morality in medieval and in the modern era is too different to just be thrown out and not mentioned, however sadly, those things were dissed for the sake of entertainment …….. or replaced by some huge amount of harem ….

    Yes, this ‘reality’ that Eliza go through for is what a proper reincarnation-to-medieval-era story should be, IMO. And I’m very, perfectly, happy, for founding this gem. Even though it really hurts to see beloved Eliza face this dark bitter reality.

    I think I’m a masochistic reader …

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is such a beautiful but tragic chapter of introspection. T_T And it reveals a lot about the person Eliza becomes.

    There was no meaning in the game Eliza played before. But, as she looks at the deaths surrounding her, she is unable to find any meaning in reality either. Rather than her memories of the game making reality feel unreal, it’s more that reality is so cruel and lacking in meaning that she clings onto her memories of the game to escape it.

    We know that Eliza becomes a pragmatist. In many ways, she has no choice. Her previous life tells her that her current life and actions lack in ethics. Her current life tells her that she has no choice but to fight and cling on to survive. There are no grander ideals on the battlefield, only death and survival.

    So she clings onto pragmatism. If you can’t find a higher meaning in anything you do, at least your actions can make sense in a logical way. Don’t upset the current laws, traditions and beliefs, even if you’re skeptical of them, because doing so brings about trouble. Don’t hesitate in taking actions that others may condemn, because doing so would mean losing, meaning the death of you or your close ones. Don’t think over the what-ifs of your family too much, because there’s no point. Don’t trust people too much, as they may turn on you later.

    Do throw yourself completely into the restoration of your domain, because that at least gives some meaning to your actions. Otherwise, what would she have poisoned her family for? What would she be killing enemy soldiers for? What would she be living for? Don’t question this too deeply, or you may find nothing but the abyss underneath.

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